Hello again! :)
It is time for another weekly update! So, this week we have been talking about communication. I loved this quote from President Harold B. Lee:
"We want to communicate not just so clearly that we are understood but so clearly that we cannot be misunderstood." - Harold B. Lee
How many times have you said, "that's not what I meant" in the last week? I know that many of us have a hard time articulating what we want to say. This can be critical in a relationships. We talked about how we need to be transparent in marriage and learn to communicate more clearly. It will make the relationship so much better.
Some words have different meanings in different places. For example, I moved from Illinois to Texas when I was a Junior in high school. I have three sisters so there are five girls in my family. The four of us and our mother were going to the store in Texas to get "nylons" but the worker there had no idea what we were talking about. He looked at us like we were crazy! In Texas they are called pantihose. This is a silly example, but demonstrates a point.
In our class we also talked about the math of communication. I know it math, but this is easy math. I'll even add it for you!
The parts of communication:
words--------14
tones---------35
non-verbal--51
------------------
total--------100
These numbers were found from a study done on college students.
So...communication is only 14% of what you actually say and 51% the non-verbal things that you do!
It may take awhile but I know that we can all become good communicators! Good communication is vital to a good relationship!
Hope you all have a great week!
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
Staying Strong in a Family Crisis
Hello again! This week has been a very informative week in family relations class. We have been talking about how families can grow closer together in a family crisis.
One example that we went over in class is about trees. When there is just one tree growing in an area then there is not a lot of stress on it. This tree will not grow very tall. When there are many trees in a forest then they work hard to compete for resources. You could say that they are under stress. This helps the trees to grow very tall and thick.
This can apply to families. It also can apply to roommates or close friends. Last semester one of my friends was in a very bad car accident. She broke her back and eye socket and ended up having to go home. Everyone had a different idea about what would be best for everyone. The whole situation was challenging but it brought us closer together as an apartment. Some people had similar experiences in the past which helped them to better cope this time. For some, this was a new experience and didn't know what to do. Our past experiences have an impact on how we react to a situation.
One prevailing truth through out the semester is that the parental unit needs to be close. If there is not proper boundaries around the couple then things will fall apart. The mother and father are the center of the family and need to be strong together. Date night is very important!
I know that Heavenly Father is aware of each of us and that He will help us through our trials. One of my favorite scriptures is John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." No matter what, Heavenly Father will be there for us. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints is the restored gospel on the earth. Through it my family can be together forever! I can't imagine not being with my husband for eternity. I feel so blessed to be a part of this gospel! When we put Christ in the center of our lives then we can get through any trial together!
One example that we went over in class is about trees. When there is just one tree growing in an area then there is not a lot of stress on it. This tree will not grow very tall. When there are many trees in a forest then they work hard to compete for resources. You could say that they are under stress. This helps the trees to grow very tall and thick.
This can apply to families. It also can apply to roommates or close friends. Last semester one of my friends was in a very bad car accident. She broke her back and eye socket and ended up having to go home. Everyone had a different idea about what would be best for everyone. The whole situation was challenging but it brought us closer together as an apartment. Some people had similar experiences in the past which helped them to better cope this time. For some, this was a new experience and didn't know what to do. Our past experiences have an impact on how we react to a situation.
One prevailing truth through out the semester is that the parental unit needs to be close. If there is not proper boundaries around the couple then things will fall apart. The mother and father are the center of the family and need to be strong together. Date night is very important!
I know that Heavenly Father is aware of each of us and that He will help us through our trials. One of my favorite scriptures is John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." No matter what, Heavenly Father will be there for us. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints is the restored gospel on the earth. Through it my family can be together forever! I can't imagine not being with my husband for eternity. I feel so blessed to be a part of this gospel! When we put Christ in the center of our lives then we can get through any trial together!
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Father's Day, Marital Intimacy, and Commitment
Hello everyone!
Happy soon-to-be Father's Day! I hope it is wonderful! This week in my class we talked about marital intimacy within marriage. I know that marital intimacy should be saved for after marriage! When saved for within sacred bonds it can create a great binding power between a couple. It is also the means by which children can come into the world. I know that children are important! Children are not easy-I have worked in many preschools-but they are worth it. I can't wait for my chance to someday have the privilege of my own family and to be a mother. Heavenly Father loves to be called by the title of Father. This shows just how important the role of family is to Him and should be to us. Strong families are so important and vital for children. When families are torn apart by divorce it takes a huge toll on these precious children.
I found this sweet video about fatherhood. As it is close to Father's Day, I thought it would be appropriate to share it. Father's Day Video
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has made a stand on marital intimacy:
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."( Family Proclamation )
For our class we also read an article published by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy written by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and Marline Pearson. It is entitled "Making a Love Connection: Teen Relationships, Pregnancy, and Marriage". I think it gives a great explanation for saving marital intimacy until after marriage and the consequences of not waiting. In my class we talked about how when any kind of intimacy is had outside of marriage it takes a toll on the person's spirit. Two people may feel like they are really in love and want to share that special part of themselves, but it is so important to wait for the right time. It makes it all the more special to wait!
Here is a quote from the article that really surprised me:
"For some teens, sex is just sex. It has nothing to do with romantic love. It’s merely a physical transaction. For many more teens, sex is a typical part of teen romantic relationships but it is not closely linked to any kind of longer-term commitment.Indeed, close to two-thirds of teens, ages 15–19, agree or strongly agree that it is all right for unmarried l8 year-olds to have sex if they have strong affection for each other." (Making a Love Connection)
Marital intimacy in the past has been a sign of commitment. I was sent the following quote this week and I wanted to share it. Men and women are equally important in our Heavenly Father's eyes. I loved the wording and the power that these words have.
"Men and women have different but equally valued roles. Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In other words, in the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by husband and wife."—M. Russell Ballard, "This Is My Work and Glory"
That is all for now! Talk to you all next week! I hope you have a fantastic Father's Day and do something special for the fathers and men in your life!
Happy soon-to-be Father's Day! I hope it is wonderful! This week in my class we talked about marital intimacy within marriage. I know that marital intimacy should be saved for after marriage! When saved for within sacred bonds it can create a great binding power between a couple. It is also the means by which children can come into the world. I know that children are important! Children are not easy-I have worked in many preschools-but they are worth it. I can't wait for my chance to someday have the privilege of my own family and to be a mother. Heavenly Father loves to be called by the title of Father. This shows just how important the role of family is to Him and should be to us. Strong families are so important and vital for children. When families are torn apart by divorce it takes a huge toll on these precious children.
I found this sweet video about fatherhood. As it is close to Father's Day, I thought it would be appropriate to share it. Father's Day Video
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has made a stand on marital intimacy:
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."( Family Proclamation )
For our class we also read an article published by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy written by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and Marline Pearson. It is entitled "Making a Love Connection: Teen Relationships, Pregnancy, and Marriage". I think it gives a great explanation for saving marital intimacy until after marriage and the consequences of not waiting. In my class we talked about how when any kind of intimacy is had outside of marriage it takes a toll on the person's spirit. Two people may feel like they are really in love and want to share that special part of themselves, but it is so important to wait for the right time. It makes it all the more special to wait!
Here is a quote from the article that really surprised me:
"For some teens, sex is just sex. It has nothing to do with romantic love. It’s merely a physical transaction. For many more teens, sex is a typical part of teen romantic relationships but it is not closely linked to any kind of longer-term commitment.Indeed, close to two-thirds of teens, ages 15–19, agree or strongly agree that it is all right for unmarried l8 year-olds to have sex if they have strong affection for each other." (Making a Love Connection)
Marital intimacy in the past has been a sign of commitment. I was sent the following quote this week and I wanted to share it. Men and women are equally important in our Heavenly Father's eyes. I loved the wording and the power that these words have.
"Men and women have different but equally valued roles. Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In other words, in the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by husband and wife."—M. Russell Ballard, "This Is My Work and Glory"
That is all for now! Talk to you all next week! I hope you have a fantastic Father's Day and do something special for the fathers and men in your life!
Friday, June 7, 2013
Early Marriage
Hello again!
This week in class we talked about the challenges that can happen in early marriage.
My teacher stressed over and over again that if you want a marriage to work out both spouses have to work very hard. It may not be easy all the time but it is completely worth it! I really liked this! When we work hard together things will always work out!
We also talked about a very interesting comparison...we compared tasks of early marriage to elements of a great marriage. He made an interesting point that wedding preparation is a time to practice vital skills for marriage. I included some of the things that we talked about below.
tasks of an early marriage elements of a great marriage
make decisions as a team the wedding details are mutually
determined
establish expectations be practical, frugal, realistic with planning
set clear boundaries tell family members what YOU want for your
wedding
I never thought that wedding preparation could be preparations for marriage but it makes sense! I hope everyone has a great week!
This week in class we talked about the challenges that can happen in early marriage.
My teacher stressed over and over again that if you want a marriage to work out both spouses have to work very hard. It may not be easy all the time but it is completely worth it! I really liked this! When we work hard together things will always work out!
We also talked about a very interesting comparison...we compared tasks of early marriage to elements of a great marriage. He made an interesting point that wedding preparation is a time to practice vital skills for marriage. I included some of the things that we talked about below.
tasks of an early marriage elements of a great marriage
make decisions as a team the wedding details are mutually
determined
establish expectations be practical, frugal, realistic with planning
set clear boundaries tell family members what YOU want for your
wedding
I never thought that wedding preparation could be preparations for marriage but it makes sense! I hope everyone has a great week!
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Daiting
Hello again! This week in my family relations class we talked about that scary, and sometimes frustrating, word of.....DATING!!! I, like many other fellow students here on campus, have hated learning about this topic in the past but my teacher presented it in a way that made learning about the topic fun (Granted I am now married and so any date I go on is absolutely wonderful, so I may be a little biased.) Here are just a few of the things that he shared with us.
The 3 P's of Daiting
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between hanging out and dating? Well, we discussed the idea that these 3 P's make it a date rather than a hang out. This is based on an Ensign article by Elder Oaks in 2006 entitled Dating versus Hanging Out
1. Paired off
2. Planned
3. Paid for
My teacher also made the comparison to qualities to look for in a man. He talked about how dates give men, and women with other things, time to practice these 3 qualities. See if you can match them up! (I'll give you a hint-they are in order.)
1. Protect
2. Preside
3. Provide
A Real Secret in Dating
Dating is not just about finding a special someone to spend the rest of eternity with. In class this week we discussed that dating is also how we get to know ourselves. We practice, make mistakes, and learn things that we want to change. We get to know others and how to work with someone else. And of course, to have fun! When we think of dating this way it makes me way less stressed out. Yes every girl wants to impress the guy, but if go into a date thinking about having fun and and getting to know someone it makes it lots less stressful!
The Filters
There are many "filters" that someone has to go through before we pick someone to marry. They include:
-propinquity (this is a fun word that just means available to date based on geographic area, some way to meet them, etc.)
-similar opinions
-physical characteristics
-similar interests
4 Steps for Marriage
I really liked how my teacher broke this up. There are many different stages and each one has its fun parts. We should enjoy each as it comes along.
1. Daiting
2. Courtship
3. Engagment
4. Marriage
I hope this helped! I know I really enjoyed learning all of it! I hope you have a great week and a wonderful Sabbath! :)
The 3 P's of Daiting
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between hanging out and dating? Well, we discussed the idea that these 3 P's make it a date rather than a hang out. This is based on an Ensign article by Elder Oaks in 2006 entitled Dating versus Hanging Out
1. Paired off
2. Planned
3. Paid for
My teacher also made the comparison to qualities to look for in a man. He talked about how dates give men, and women with other things, time to practice these 3 qualities. See if you can match them up! (I'll give you a hint-they are in order.)
1. Protect
2. Preside
3. Provide
A Real Secret in Dating
Dating is not just about finding a special someone to spend the rest of eternity with. In class this week we discussed that dating is also how we get to know ourselves. We practice, make mistakes, and learn things that we want to change. We get to know others and how to work with someone else. And of course, to have fun! When we think of dating this way it makes me way less stressed out. Yes every girl wants to impress the guy, but if go into a date thinking about having fun and and getting to know someone it makes it lots less stressful!
The Filters
There are many "filters" that someone has to go through before we pick someone to marry. They include:
-propinquity (this is a fun word that just means available to date based on geographic area, some way to meet them, etc.)
-similar opinions
-physical characteristics
-similar interests
4 Steps for Marriage
I really liked how my teacher broke this up. There are many different stages and each one has its fun parts. We should enjoy each as it comes along.
1. Daiting
2. Courtship
3. Engagment
4. Marriage
I hope this helped! I know I really enjoyed learning all of it! I hope you have a great week and a wonderful Sabbath! :)
Children
I watched this video last week and I loved it! It has a very sweet message! Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNahtS4XJ8E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNahtS4XJ8E
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