Divine Help From Above

Hello once again! 

This weeks topic is divine help! I know that Heavenly Father loves each of us! We are His children and He wants what is best for us! He wants us to com back to live with Him again!

Here is a really sweet video about our Heavenly Father: 

http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/topics/heavenly-father?lang=eng

I was also looking at websites today and came across this one:

http://mormon.org/beliefs/plan-of-salvation

It tells about some of the basic beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints! It answers some basic questions! I would highly encourage everyone to check it out!

Divine help can come from above. We have loved ones in the next life who love us and want what is best for us! We read the following article in class and it was such a comfort to me knowing that I don't have to do things by myself! There are so many people who love me! 

http://ldsmag.com/article/1/11837

This is all for now! Hope you have a great week!

Parenting...Its Not Always Easy

Hello again everyone!

So this weeks topic is parenting. From what I have seen, it is definitely not easy, but I am here to give encouragement. I believe that there is always a reason behind what children do. In my class we learned 5  NEEDS that children have. They are as follows:

1. contact and belonging
2. power
3. withdrawals (need to have alone time)
4. protection
5. challenges

Children show these needs through many different actions and we need to look behind the action to see the cause. I have definitely seen some of these in my life and they have helped me to better understand what I have done and how I acted as a teenager.

We can't always see why things are happening but I know that they happen for a reason. This is one of my favorite poems when I am feeling sad and discouraged. I hope it can help you too. 

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I let Him choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Oft' times He worketh sorrow;
And I, within my heart
Forget He sees the pattern
While I see only part.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He had planned.
Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why


I hope you all have a great week! Remember that there is always hope! There is a reason why we do the things we do!

Work, Fathers, and Family

Hello All!

Work

 

Over time work has changed. In the past it was work to help support a family. Everyone contributed. Families had a lot of time to talk, learn from each other, and bond. In today's society the father and/or mother works to provide for the family. There is very little family time. Work can help people come closer together. When I was younger I remember helping my father mow the lawn. I would stand closer to the mower and he would stand behind me and we would push. It was a time that I remember bonding with my father. We worked hard, but had time to be together.

"We read an article for class that I though was very good. It talked about this idea. Here is a story from it and the link:

 

Several years ago one of my students, a young mother of two daughters, wrote of the challenges she experienced learning to feel a strong bond with her firstborn. Because this daughter was born prematurely, she was taken from her mother and kept in isolation at the hospital for the first several weeks of her life. Even after the baby came home, she looked so fragile that the mother was afraid to hold her. She felt many of the inadequacies typical of new mothers, plus additional ones that came from her own rough childhood experiences. As time passed, she felt that she loved her daughter, but suffered feelings of deficiency, often to the point of tears, and wondered, "Why don't I have that 'natural bond' with my first child that I do with my second?"

Then she learned about the idea of working together as a means to build bonds. She purposely included her daughter in her work around the house, and gradually, she recalls, "our relationship . . . deepened in a way that I had despaired of ever realizing." She describes the moment she realized the change that had taken place:

One morning before the girls were to leave [to visit family in another state], Mandy and I were sitting and folding towels together, chattering away. As I looked at her, a sudden rush of maternal love flooded over me--it was no longer something that I had to work at. She looked up at me and must have read my heart in my expression. We fell laughing and crying into each other's arms. She looked up at me and said, "Mom, what would you do without me?" I couldn't even answer her, because the thought was too painful to entertain."

http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=151

Fatherhood

"One of the most important influences a father can have on his child is indirect—fathers influence their children in large part through the quality of their relationship with the mother of their children. A father who has a good relationship with the mother of their children is more likely to be involved and to spend time with their children and to have children who are psychologically and emotionally healthier. Similarly, a mother who feels affirmed by her children's father and who enjoys the benefits of a happy relationship is more likely to be a better mother. Indeed, the quality of the relationship affects the parenting behavior of both parents. They are more responsive, affectionate, and confident with their infants; more self-controlled in dealing with defiant toddlers; and better confidants for teenagers seeking advice and emotional support."

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm 

 

Here is a  quote about the importance of fathers. When the relationship between the husband and wife is strong with appropriate boundaries then the family is stronger for it.

Communication

Hello again! :)

It is time for another weekly update! So, this week we have been talking about communication.  I loved this quote from President Harold B. Lee:

"We want to communicate not just so clearly that we are understood but so clearly that we cannot be misunderstood." - Harold B. Lee

How many times have you said, "that's not what I meant" in the last week? I know that many of us have a hard time articulating what we want to say. This can be critical in a relationships. We talked about how we need to be transparent in marriage and learn to communicate more clearly. It will make the relationship so much better.

Some words have different meanings in different places. For example, I moved from Illinois to Texas when I was a Junior in high school. I have three sisters so there are five girls in my family. The four of us and our mother were going to the store in Texas to get "nylons" but the worker there had no idea what we were talking about. He looked at us like we were crazy! In Texas they are called pantihose. This is a silly example, but demonstrates a point.

In our class we also talked about the math of communication. I know it math, but this is easy math. I'll even add it for you!

The parts of communication:
words--------14
tones---------35
non-verbal--51
------------------
total--------100

These numbers were found from a study done on college students.
So...communication is only 14% of what you actually say and 51% the non-verbal things that you do!

It may take awhile but I know that we can all become good communicators! Good communication is vital to a good relationship!

Hope you all have a great week!

Staying Strong in a Family Crisis

Hello again! This week has been a very informative week in family relations class. We have been talking about how families can grow closer together in a family crisis.

One example that we went over in class is about trees. When there is just one tree growing in an area then there is not a lot of stress on it. This tree will not grow very tall. When there are many trees in a forest then they work hard to compete for resources. You could say that they are under stress. This helps the trees to grow very tall and thick. 

This can apply to families. It also can apply to roommates or close friends. Last semester one of my friends was in a very bad car accident. She broke her back and eye socket and ended up having to go home. Everyone had a different idea about what would be best for everyone. The whole situation was challenging but it brought us closer together as an apartment. Some people had similar experiences in the past which helped them to better cope this time. For some, this was a new experience and didn't know what to do. Our past experiences have an impact on how we react to a situation. 

One prevailing truth through out the semester is that the parental unit needs to be close. If there is not proper boundaries around the couple then things will fall apart. The mother and father are the center of the family and need to be strong together. Date night is very important!

I know that Heavenly Father is aware of each of us and that He will help us through our trials. One of my favorite scriptures is John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." No matter what, Heavenly Father will be there for us. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints is the restored gospel on the earth. Through it my family can be together forever! I can't imagine not being with my husband for eternity. I feel so blessed to be a part of this gospel! When we put Christ in the center of our lives then we can get through any trial together!

Father's Day, Marital Intimacy, and Commitment

Hello everyone! 

Happy soon-to-be Father's Day! I hope it is wonderful! This week in my class we talked about marital intimacy within marriage. I know that marital intimacy should be saved for after marriage! When saved for within sacred bonds it can create a great binding power between a couple. It is also the means by which children can come into the world. I know that children are important! Children  are not easy-I have worked in many preschools-but they are worth it. I can't wait for my chance to someday have the privilege of my own family and to be a mother. Heavenly Father loves to be called by the title of Father. This shows just how important the role of family is to Him and should be to us. Strong families are so important and vital for children. When families are torn apart by divorce it takes a huge toll on these precious children.

I found this sweet video about fatherhood. As it is close to Father's Day, I thought it would be appropriate to share it. Father's Day Video

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has made a stand on marital intimacy:

"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."( Family Proclamation )


For our class we also read an article published by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy written by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and Marline Pearson. It is entitled "Making a Love Connection: Teen Relationships, Pregnancy, and Marriage". I think it gives a great explanation for saving marital intimacy until after marriage and the consequences of not waiting. In my class we talked about how when any kind of intimacy is had outside of marriage it takes a toll on the person's spirit. Two people may feel like they are really in love and want to share that special part of themselves, but it is so important to wait for the right time. It makes it all the more special to wait!

Here is a quote from the article that really surprised me:
"For some teens, sex is just sex. It has nothing to do with romantic love. It’s merely a physical transaction. For many more teens, sex is a typical part of teen romantic relationships but it is not closely linked to any kind of longer-term commitment.Indeed, close to two-thirds of teens, ages 15–19, agree or strongly agree that it is all right for unmarried l8 year-olds to have sex if they have strong affection for each other." (Making a Love Connection)

Marital intimacy in the past has been a sign of commitment. I was sent the following quote this week and I wanted to share it. Men and women are equally important in our Heavenly Father's eyes. I loved the wording and the power that these words have.

"Men and women have different but equally valued roles. Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In other words, in the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by husband and wife."—M. Russell Ballard, "This Is My Work and Glory"

That is all for now! Talk to you all next week! I hope you have a fantastic Father's Day and do something special for the fathers and men in your life!

Early Marriage

Hello again!
This week in class we talked about the challenges that can happen in early marriage.

My teacher stressed over and over again that if you want a marriage to work out both spouses have to work very hard. It may not be easy all the time but it is completely worth it! I really liked this! When we work hard together things will always work out!

We also talked about a very interesting comparison...we compared tasks of early marriage to elements of a great marriage. He made an interesting point that wedding preparation is a time to practice vital skills for marriage. I included some of the things that we talked about below.

tasks of an early marriage                                                     elements of a great marriage
make decisions as a team                                             the wedding details are mutually   
                                                                                     determined
establish expectations                                                  be practical, frugal, realistic with planning
set clear boundaries                                                     tell family members what YOU want for your
                                                                                     wedding

I never thought that wedding preparation could be preparations for marriage but it makes sense! I hope everyone has a great week!

Daiting

Hello again! This week in my family relations class we talked about that scary, and sometimes frustrating, word of.....DATING!!! I, like many other fellow students here on campus, have hated learning about this topic in the past but my teacher presented it in a way that made learning about the topic fun (Granted I am now married and so any date I go on is absolutely wonderful, so I may be a little biased.) Here are just a few of the things that he shared with us.

The 3 P's of Daiting

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between hanging out and dating? Well, we discussed the idea that these 3 P's make it a date rather than a hang out. This is based on an Ensign article by Elder Oaks in 2006 entitled Dating versus Hanging Out

1. Paired off
2. Planned
3. Paid for

My teacher also made the comparison to qualities to look for in a man. He talked about how dates give men, and women with other things, time to practice these 3 qualities. See if you can match them up! (I'll give you a hint-they are in order.)

1. Protect
2. Preside
3. Provide

A Real Secret in Dating

Dating is not just about finding a special someone to spend the rest of eternity with. In class this week we discussed that dating is also how we get to know ourselves. We practice, make mistakes, and learn things that we want to change. We get to know others and how to work with someone else. And of course, to have fun! When we think of dating this way it makes me way less stressed out. Yes every girl wants to impress the guy, but if go into a date thinking about having fun and and getting to know someone it makes it lots less stressful!

The Filters

There are many "filters" that someone has to go through before we pick someone to marry. They include:

-propinquity (this is a fun word that just means available to date based on geographic area, some way to meet them, etc.)
-similar opinions
-physical characteristics
-similar interests

4 Steps for Marriage

I really liked how my teacher broke this up.  There are many different stages and each one has its fun parts. We should enjoy each as it comes along.

1. Daiting
2. Courtship
3. Engagment
4. Marriage

I hope this helped! I know I really enjoyed learning all of it! I hope you have a great week and a wonderful Sabbath! :)

Children

I watched this video last week and I loved it! It has a very sweet message! Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNahtS4XJ8E

Sisters

Hello again! This week in family relations we read an article about having sisters. The research article noted that having a sister-whether older or younger—can lead to a better emotional health. This made me think of my sisters. I have 3 amazing sisters who are some of my best friends. They have helped me through a lot and have always been there for me. I love them so much! 

Here is a link to the article: http://news.byu.edu/archive10-aug-siblings.aspx

Culture and Family

Hello again! This week in class we talked about how different cultures effect the family and how families affect culture. Each family has its own culture with its own sets of values, beliefs, traditions, and rules. We looked at the "unspoken rules" in our families. This is a really fun exercise! For example, is there one parent you go to when you want one thing and another when you want something else? Do you have a certain place you sit at the dinner table but you were never assigned to sit there?

We also talked about how many families together makeup a larger culture. This could be based on religion, geographic area, social class, or any other number of things. Each culture has positives and negatives, some more than others, but each is valuable.

I really like the following song and I think it fits in with this topic. Whether it is accepting family members, other families, or other cultures, we can find good in everyone. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDq7aFpV76E

I hope you all have a great week!

Healthy Relationships

Hello Everyone! This week we talked about relationships within a family. We explored the idea that some relationships are healthier then others. One thing that really made a lot of sense to me was that in order to make a family stable you need to make the marital (husband and wife) unit stable first. When the husband and wife have a strong bond with each other then everything else will fall into place. Throughout the week I kept thinking about how each thing we learned about related back to The Family:A Proclamation to the World. This is an amazing document that is written by inspired men. I encourage you to take a look at the following link: http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation I hope you all have a wonderful week!

Family Relations

This week in my family relations class we talked about recent trends in the family. Some included delaying marriage, more people living alone for many different reasons, more mothers being employed, the increased number of births to unmarried women, more people never marrying, and how household size is decreasing in the United States. Our world is starting to change in many ways.

Some of the ideas that I found really interesting as we talked about the topic are as follows:

• Some people in cohabiting relationships have a certain expectation of their significant other before they get married and a different expectation after they get married. We talked about how this can cause big problems in these kinds of marriages.  
• We also talked about how marriage is more frequently being viewed as a capstone to a life instead of a cornerstone. My belief is that a marriage is needed as a foundation or cornerstone to be built upon. I recently got married. One thing that my mother told me that I think is very important is that now you have someone to go through life with. When you get married you have someone to rely on, share hard times and good times, and who loves you for who you are. 
• One personal insight that I gained from this week is how important my parents example has been in my life. As we talked about these different trends I realized that my knowledge started with the teachings of my parents and became mine as I lived my life and experimented on what they had said. I gained my own knowledge and views but so many of them come from the knowledge gained from my parents.I hope that I can be this example for good someday.

Just some thoughts! I hope that you all have a wonderful week!

Introduction

Hello everyone! This is the space on my blog that I created for my family relations class! Check back soon for new updates as the class gets under way!